


Skeleton In The Closet

by Kelandry5



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Falling In Love, M/M, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:39:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10012712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelandry5/pseuds/Kelandry5
Summary: Izaya has a secret, a secret he has held onto for years. However, he's taken things too far and now he will pay the price.Shizaya





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this topic has been done a million times before, sorry. I just wanted to do my own. Anyway, I've had this sitting around with the first chapter half written for months and finally decided to start writing it again since I'm sort of stuck with my other fics.  
> This was technically the first fanfic I ever wrote so yeah....concept is overdone and probably lame, but whatever, if you like it, let me know please.

"You want to talk about whatever has you so distracted lately?" Tom asked his bodyguard Shizuo as they were leaving the last job for the day.

"It's nothing." The blond replied, kicking a rock down the mostly empty street. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it before offering one to his boss.

Declining, Tom continued to push the matter. "It's not 'nothing'. Does it have to do with that informant?" He guessed since he hadn't seen the two fighting recently. Apparently, he guessed right.

Shizuo nodded taking a long inhale. "I haven't seen the stupid flea in months. It's not like him."

"Maybe he got tired of fighting with you or something. You always tell him not to show up here. Maybe he is listening."

Shizuo stopped mid step and stared at Tom with furrowed brows and narrows eyes. "Are we talking about the same flea here?!"

"It's just a thought." Tom shrugged. "Anyway, I'm heading home. I'll see you tomorrow at 2."

"Yeah. Okay. See ya." Shizuo waved as he watched Tom walk out into the more crowded streets. Looking at his watch and seeing it was only four P.M., Shizuo grunted and started making his way towards Simon's for an early dinner while trying to shake the uneasy feeling he had.

* * *

  


_Shit._ Izaya had finished up his business with his client as quickly as possible. He felt like crap. He was pretty sure he had held himself together fairly well during the meeting. The only times he removed his hands from his pockets was to hand over the folder of information he had kept tucked in his jacket, and to shake hands before and after the meeting, so his shaking probably wasn't noticed. Probably. The meeting was in the back of a car too, so he hadn't felt dizzy until after he stepped out. And, he had somehow managed to carry on a typical business conversation without yawning. However, now he was on the sidewalk in Ikebukuro where the client had dropped him off. The last thing he needed was for Shizuo to spot him.

"IIIIZZZZAAAAAYYYYYAAAA!!!!"

 _Shit! Why today......_ Izaya cursed as he looked up to see his enemy coming towards him. _I can't let him see me weak...I'll have to just play along and lose him in the alleyways,_ Izaya thought. With a deep breath, he gathered his thoughts and turned to Shizuo with a cocky ass smile painted on his face (trying not to sway from the lightheadedness caused by turning to quickly).

"Hello Shizuo-chan! Lovely day out here isn't it!" He taunted in an overly cheerful voice.

"I thought I told you to stay the hell out of Ikebukuro, FLEA!!" Shizuo pulled a stop sign from the corner and continued to close the distance between the two. Passerby's cleared the way as the two men's reputations preceded them.

It felt like his lungs were on fire as he ran, but he couldn't stop. Not yet. "Too slow, Shizu-chan!" He taunted again. It was a half-hearted taunt just to keep up appearances, but Shizuo was too fired up to notice.

The blond was closing in too quick for Izaya's preferences but he couldn't will his legs to move any faster and everything was spinning and blurring in his vision. He needed to lose Shizuo and quick. Spotting the entrance to an alley way, he slipped in and nearly stumbled over the trash situated at the corner but jumped over it last second. He landed on his ankle at a slightly wrong angle and felt a bit of pain surge up his leg but he ignored it. Unfortunately, turning into the alley didn't shake Shizuo off his tail and he had to keep running. He was getting more and more desperate, his eyes darting all around for some sort of escape opportunity knowing that if he didn't get away soon, he was going to faint.

If only he hadn't accepted a meeting outside of his office. If only he had protested and made them drop him off in Shinjuku. If only he hadn't been so prideful and refrained from taunting the monster that was hell bent on killing him.

But no, none of those things were the real problem here and he knew it. However, he would rather blame his current undesirable predicament on those things. The true problem wasn't something he could easily admit to himself and he wasn't going to try, because only a small part of his mind even acknowledged the problem existed. The rest of him was convinced he was still fine.

Well, as fine as anyone could be with the strongest man in Ikebukuro chasing after him with deadly intent. After several more twists and turns, Izaya found himself in one of the last places he wanted to be......a dead end. How he ended up there, he wasn't sure. He knew the alley ways like the back of his hand, but then again, everything was so blurry and he felt so disoriented that it actually wasn't all the surprising. He must have made a wrong turn somewhere, but that didn't matter now. Pulling out his switchblade, he turned to face Shizuo who appeared only seconds later.

"Well Flea, looks like I caught you!" Shizuo growled, raising the sign still in his hands preparing to swing. Letting a grin form on his face, he brought the sign down and nearly slammed it into Izaya, only missing by a centimeter or two.

Izaya stumbled back almost collapsing onto his butt but managed to stay on his feet. He opened his mouth to say some smart-alecky retort but a sudden pain cut him off. He clutched his chest where the throbbing feeling was coming from and gasped.

Shizuo raised his eye brows and frowned. "Oi! Don't think you can fool me!" He shouted angrily at his opponent taking several steps forward. "Backed into a corner so you try to trick me huh?"

In too much pain to give a verbal reply, Izaya shook his head. Fear etched itself into the features of his face and filled his eyes as a few unwanted tears slipped from them. He couldn't breathe, and it wasn't like that kind of difficulty breathing one has after running too hard or too long, no, he seriously couldn't breathe and the pain radiating from his chest was too much to bear. Setting his pride aside, or rather, not being in any shape to worry about such things, he gave a pleading look to his enemy to help him.

But Shizuo still thought he was faking. Even as Izaya looked up at him with such fear and pain, Shizuo wasn't convinced it was real. Izaya was a good actor when he wanted to be and surely he would never show true weakness in front of an opponent. Shizuo was sure of that much....at least until Izaya's knees buckled and his body collapsed onto the ground. There was a quiet whimper, then nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, second chapter. No, updates won't usually be this fast, this chapter was almost finished when I put up the first chapter is all.   
> Anyway, it didn't go exactly according to my outline, but I hope you enjoy!

_Izaya was a good actor when he wanted to be and surely he would never show true weakness in front of an opponent. Shizuo was sure of that much….at least until Izaya’s knees buckled and his body collapsed onto the ground. There was a quiet whimper, then nothing._

 

Shizuo waited for Izaya to move, but the raven haired man’s body remained limp on the asphalt ground. He didn’t even seem to be breathing. Slowly with caution, ready to jump back at the slightest movement from the body on the ground, Shizuo stepped closer until his toes were mere centimeters away from Izaya’s legs. He knelt down and stared at Izaya’s chest for several moments to see if it moved but it didn’t.

Maybe this wasn’t a trick.

Still moving cautiously, the blond brought two fingers to Izaya’s neck and pressed down searching for a pulse. His eyes widened as he pulled his hand away which was now trembling.

“Izaya.” He whispered, gently shaking the body, but he knew it was no use. There was no pulse, at least none he could find. This wasn’t a joke. The flea wasn’t faking. Those fearful eyes. That pleading look. They had been real. With his last breath, the flea had been begging Shizuo to help him and Shizuo thought it was a joke. It wasn’t Shizuo’s fault that the informant was always playing tricks. It’s like the story of the boy who cried wolf. It wasn’t the villagers fault the boy got eaten. It was the boys fault for lying so many times. Besides, didn’t he want Izaya to die? Why was he panicking? What was this dread swirling in his stomach for?

 He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t celebrating. He was scared.

Setting the sign he was still holding to the side, he fished out his phone from his pocket and dialed Shinra’s number. It was best not to get the police involved if he could help it. Waiting for the underground doctor to pick up the phone, Shizuo used his other hand to start CPR being careful to not use too much strength. After a moment, the ringing stopped and Shinra’s voice greeted him.

Barely able to keep his voice steady enough for his words to be understandable, Shizuo explained the situation and his location before hanging up. He turned his attention back to Izaya and checked for a pulse or any sign of breathing but found none.

“Damn it Flea!!” He growled clenching his fist before slamming it into the ground next to Izaya’s body. He then returned to performing CPR and hissing out various threats for what he would do if Izaya died on him. Of course, he didn’t mean any of them and it was pointless to waste his breath, but it made him feel a bit better.

When Shinra and Celty finally showed up, Shizuo swore an eternity had passed. Shinra grabbed a device the blond didn’t recognize from the back of Celty’s bike and raced over with the headless rider on his heels.

“Remove his shirt!” Shinra instructed Shizuo frantically as he pulled two pads from the device.

Pausing the CPR movements, Shizuo grabbed the sides of Izaya’s shirt and ripped it easily to expose the informants’ chest. For a brief moment, no one even dared to breathe.

“Wh….what the hell……” Shizuo muttered shocked as he stared down at Izaya’s torso.

Every rib seemed to be straining to break free of the pale skin stretched thin atop it. Izaya’s stomach caved in so much Shizuo wondered where the hell Izaya’s organs could be hiding because he was sure they couldn’t fit in such a compact space. It was only now that he realized how thin Izaya’s face was as well, how his eyes and cheeks were sunken too much to possibly be healthy.

Shinra and Celty were just as shocked by the findings as well but this wasn’t the time to hesitate. Shaking himself out of his trance like state, Shinra attached the pads with trembling hands and pulled back. He glanced at Shizuo and Celty to make sure they weren’t touching the body, and then hit the button on the device. He watched till the word ‘shock’ popped up on the screen then hit the shock button. “Come on Izaya.” He whispered almost inaudibly as the first shock was delivered.

It didn’t work. There was still no pulse. Waiting for the machine to be ready again, Celty began CPR again. Once it was ready, she removed her hands and the second shock was delivered. They all held their breaths and silently prayed it would work this time, and luckily it did. There was an audible exhale from all of them as the machine picked up a heart rate and shallow movement returned to Izaya’s chest.

Nodding to Celty, Shinra removed the pads. “Shizuo, pick him up please.”

“H…hai.” The blond replied as he gently lifted Izaya’s body from the ground. It was lighter than usual but that didn’t surprise him after what he saw of the flea’s body. Carefully, he carried him, following Shinra and Celty out of the alleys. Once they were on the regular streets again, Celty’s shadows turned into a car and he climbed in the back seat still holding Izaya in his arms as gently as possible.

The ride to Shinra’s was quiet. Celty was concentrated on driving and Shinra and Shizuo were busy sorting out their thoughts and fears over the whole situation. The silence continued when they arrived at the underground doctors apartment. Shinra pointed Shizuo to the makeshift hospital room and the blond took Izaya in, laying him down on the white sheets handling him as carefully as he possibly could. To be honest, Shizuo was afraid to even touch the frail figure. He was afraid even a normal humans strength might bruise such a tiny existence.

Once Izaya was situated, Shizuo stepped back and watched as Celty and Shinra wordlessly undressed the informant and checked for any wounds that might explain his sudden collapse. It wasn’t really necessary. The doctor was pretty certain what had caused the incident already, but he was hoping he was wrong. He was desperate to find a different explanation. But he didn’t.

With a defeated sigh, Shinra maneuvered Izaya into a hospital gown and covered him with blankets. He then went about hooking up various machines and IV’s with Celty’s help. With that done, he continued with a thorough examination.

“Visible weight loss, lanugo, dry skin, hypotension, hypothermia, pale skin” Shinra rambled off various findings as Celty wrote them down on a clipboard. “We will need to run tests for Anemia, electrolyte imbalances, potassium levels specifically, kidney and liver function….”

“What the hell does all of that even mean…?” Shizuo interupted getting tired of listening to babbling he couldn’t make sense of.

Suddenly aware of Shizuo’s presence again, Shinra stopped his examination and met the blonds gaze. “Y…you’re still here?”

“Obviously.” Shizuo huffed.

“It’s…it’s medical talk.”

“Again…obviously. What does it mean?”

“Shizuo….have you noticed anything strange about Izaya lately? Before today I mean.”

“I haven’t seen him in two months! How could I notice anything strange? Besides the fact he is always strange…” Shizuo growled running a hand through his hair. “Just tell me what’s going on…Did….did I do this? Did I almost…..?”

Shinra shook his head sadly. “I wish.”

“You wish?” Shizuo echoed furrowing his brows.

“Shizuo….I think…Izaya did this to himself…..I think he’s anorexic….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/feedback appreciated!


	3. Convincing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummm, I'm sorry?  
> Uh..mostly dialogue but yeah, enjoy. Sorry it took so long even though it's short.
> 
> Just a quick note: None of my stories will be updated again until sometime after mid-August. I am currently out of town with limited internet access and spare time so I apologize. I'll be back to writing again in August though!

“An….ano…ano whats-it?” Shizuo stared at the doctor his face contorting into various expressions as he tried to repeat the word and find some meaning to it. Ultimately, he couldn’t. He still had no idea what Shinra was talking about, but from the tone of voice, the distressed expression, and the way Shinra’s shoulders hunched over and his hands shook, it was serious.

Seeing that the blond wasn’t comprehending, Shinra gave a quick nod to Celty, wordlessly communicating to her to finish the notes on her own. After she agreed, Shinra dragged his feet as he passed by Shizuo beckoning the blond to follow. Outside of the room, Shinra continued to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of tea and a glass of milk for Shizuo before leading the way to the couch. He handed the glass away and set his own mug on the coffee table before opening his laptop. After tapping away at the keyboard and clicking the mouse a few times, he turned the screen so Shizuo could see. “Anorexic. Meaning he has a disorder called Anorexia Nervosa.”

Shizuo scrolled through the information on the website Shinra had pulled up but still couldn’t understand what it meant. He gulped down his milk as he read the words he could understand such as ‘weight loss’, ‘fear of weight gain’, ‘skipping meals’, and other simple terms before setting his glass down a little too hard and giving up. “Could you explain this in Japanese? I don’t get all this medical stuff. I ain’t book smart like you ya know.” He hissed growing impatient.

“It’s a psychological disorder with severe physiological consequences that can be fatal. Put simply, he’s starving himself.”

“Why the hell would he do a thing like that?!”

Shinra shrugged and sank back into the couch cushions. “I don’t know. But for now, I would appreciate it if you held off on trying to kill him.”

Shizuo supported his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his open hands with an irritated groan. “I almost watched the man die in front of me once….even if I hate him….I don’t ever want to experience that again.”

“So you don’t want to kill him.”

“I’m not a heartless bastard!”

“Good…..because I need your help.”

“My help?” Shizuo stared at him incredulously. “What the hell do you expect me to do?”

“We obviously can’t leave him alone in his current state.”

“You aren’t seriously suggesting I-“

“I am.” Shinra replied before Shizuo could finish.

“I am not going to babysit the damn flea! Just because I don’t want him to die doesn’t mean-“

“Shizuo….” Shinra interrupted yet again. Shizuo was starting to get annoyed with the doctor for constantly cutting him off, but he settled for clenching his fists in his lap as opposed to some other more drastic expression of frustration. Shinra decidedly ignored the gesture and continued. “He doesn’t have anyone else. I’ll teach you what you need to know.”

“Why can’t you take care of him? You’re his friend. You know more about this Anra….Ano…Ama….”

“Anorexia.” Shinra supplied.

“You know more about this anorexia than I do. Wouldn’t you be better suited for this? Or better yet, a real hospital with real doctors.” Shizuo spit out the last part of the sentence. It was a bit of a low blow, but he didn’t like the way Shinra was pushing this responsibility on to him. Payback was obviously in order.

Shinra did flinch at the statement and the obvious malice lacing it, but didn’t spit back any venom of his own. Instead, he replied in an oddly calm manner. “He wouldn’t take to well to being dumped off in a hospital.”

“He won’t take to well to rooming with his enemy turned babysitter either, I would think.”

“The hospital is a last resort. As for me, I have Celty and work and there just isn’t the room or the time. Plus I have dangerous people coming through here all the time who could see him and try to take advantage of his weakness.”

“I work too, ya know.”

“Shizuo, please.” Shinra begged through sips of his tea. “I will be greatly in your debt if you do this. Please.”

Shizuo shifted in his seat. He wasn’t the least bit comfortable with this idea. Why didn’t he just leave Izaya to die in that dirt old alleyway again? Just because the flea seemed human for once in his life? He could have walked away then. He could have avoided all of this. But what he really wanted to avoid right now was the feelings of guilt and responsibility churning in his stomach. Right now, the Flea was clearly just as messed up as anyone else and in just as much pain. Shizuo had been violent towards a human, not some psychopathic god, just a simple twisted human. Okay, maybe not simple, but the flea wasn’t who Shizuo made him out to be all these years and the guilt of judging him may or may not have begun to eat at him. Maybe he owed his former enemy this much. Although, Izaya surely would reject him and his help anyway. Shizuo may have misjudged the raven head, but he knew Izaya was still proud and stubborn, far too much to accept help. Especially help from Shizuo.

Shizuo was not one of mental strength though. As much as he tried to sort out his thoughts and feelings in his head, they remained a tangled mess he couldn’t make sense of. It was just causing his rage to boil over. That was not what this situation needed right now.

Taking the deepest and longest breath he had probably ever taken, he nodded ever so slightly towards the doctor before parting his lips to speak in a strained tone. “Okay. Tell me what I need to know.”

“You’ll do it?” Shinra couldn’t keep the hint of surprise from his voice or the slight but hesitant smile on his lips. He knew Shizuo was a good person with a kind heart, but he had his doubts about whether the blond would actually accept this request, especially after the long drawn out silence. 

Shizuo nodded again stiffly. “I’ll try if you can get him to agree.”

“oh…” Shinra rubbed the back of his head nervously. “I had hoped you would take care of the convincing.”

Shizuo groaned. “Maybe you were the one I should have been trying to kill all this time!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/feedback appreciated!  
> Hope you enjoyed!


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